Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Strangers in a Strange Land

(Guest post by Heather Ray)

Nine years ago, at the invitation of a good friend, I made my first trip to this magical place called Costa Rica. Since then, I have returned annually... Sometimes with family but mostly with friends.

I now have a small home here; perched on the Eastern slope of the continental divide at 2100 feet elevation.

Lovely view of the eastern slope of the continental divide! 

The birds are varied and plentiful. Toucans are as common here as Robin's are in Ontario. The howler monkeys signal the start of each day at 5am with their resonant baritone calls. 

Two years ago my friends Jo-Anne and Sue came to visit me here. They now own the home 100 meters away. We share a picturesque view of a lush hillside and quebrada and we recently discovered we also share a mama sloth and her one offspring. 

Jo and Sue's casa required some remodeling work and over the past two years we have gotten to know some of the local builders... Specifically, Henry and Sergio, whom we have come to include in our circle of friends.
Friends taking a selfie before coronavirus struck
Now keep in mind they don't speak English and the three of us know just enough Español to embarrass ourselves on a regular basis, yet somehow, we are able to communicate quite effectively through pantomime, horrible pronunciations and Google translate (go home Google translate. You're drunk).
Henry and Sergio on coffee break

The "Ticos" are incredibly kind and muy generous people. They are ingenious, and can overcome any obstacle they encounter. If they don't have a tool for a specific task, they simply create a tool using what they do have. It's really an amazing experience to observe them.

We arrived in mid-February, and were soon invited to share a fun evening of karaoke with our lawyer and her family and colleagues. The food was delicious and the laughter plentiful. Music melted any language barriers. It really was a special evening and we feel honored to have been invited. 

Dinner before karaoke
Shortly after we arrived in this magical land, COVID-19 turned the entire world upside down. I'm incredibly proud to see how this country handled the arrival of the pandemic. On March 16th the border was closed, preventing any new arrivals. 

Well before distancing orders were implemented in North America, Costa Rica had already put a halt to group gatherings and ordered all retailers to erect hand washing stations outside their doors. Plexiglass partitions were put up at checkout counters and alcohol gel was readily available, as was (is) toilet paper. Seniors were permitted entry to the bank/grocery store for the first hour of each business day, and only 5 persons at a time were allowed inside. 

In addition to these measures, strict driving bans were put in place. Initially, during Semana Santa (holy) week, vehicles were restricted to only two days of driving and had to observe an odd/even schedule based on the last digit of your license plate. Now, 5 weeks later, we aren't allowed to drive on Tuesdays or Sundays and can only drive to either the supermarket or pharmacy on Saturdays.

Also during Semana Santa, all beaches were closed. Keep in mind this is a time when all Ticos head to the beach for the entire week! Not this year...

While some countries are reporting deaths in the thousands, this tiny Central American country has had 7 losses to date. Currently the number of recovered cases numbers more than the number of active cases. 

It's for these reasons we decided to cancel our return flights at the end of March and stay here. It just seemed like the smarter and safer option. I'm glad we did.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Yalta, we have a problem!

Last week was very interesting, if you like police dramas. There were actually two episodes, and we're very hopeful that was the end of the series. Interactions with the Policia of another country, none of whom speak English, is not something we want any more experience with.

Las Dramas de Policia - Episodio Uno 

There are punks in every country, even out here in the campo (countryside) of Costa Rica. Every so often a small white Honda races up and down our dirt road. It's an old carro (car), but he has it 'souped up' to a degree and loves to rev the engine and skid on the gravel. From what we understand from locals, he doesn't live here in Tronadora or San Luis - sounds like he lives in Tilaran, the slightly larger city about 5 miles from here. We think the thing that draws him over here is a mechanic shop up the road.

About a month ago Sue and I were on the road talking to a neighbor (socially distanced, of course). The punk came racing down the slight hill and I expected him to slow down as he approached us. He did not and I was afraid if he skidded around the curve, he might slide right into us so I grabbed Sue's arm and we jumped off the road onto the grassy shoulder. I yelled 'slow down!', but he was already gone, plus I couldn't think fast enough to say it in español ('despacio!').

So, every few days we'd see the punk race up Chimurria Rd and then race back down, sometimes skidding on the gravel. My favorite day was when I happened to see a tow truck coming down the road, towing a white souped up carro. In the driver's seat sat the punk. JAJAJAJA  That's español for HAHAHAHA because a 'J' is pronounced as we would pronounce an 'H'. So my name, Jo, is, well never mind...

There are other different pronounciations that we are trying to master as we work at improving our espanol. For example, a 'V' is usually pronounced as a 'B' and vice versa (so that would be pronounced bice bersa). We learned the word for cow by ear, well before we ever learned how it was spelled - it is spelled 'vaca' but pronounced 'baca'. And when you want someone to 'come on' (such as when we're in the casa and we want to show Henry or Sergio something), you say 'benga' (spelled 'venga'). And twenty thousand colones is pronounced 'BEN-tay meel', spelled 'veinte mil'.

Before I leave the 'B' and 'V' confusion, there's a new word we learned recently - quebrada, pronounced 'kay-VRA-da'. Our casa overlooks a quebrada. As best as I can figure it, it's a creek running through a valley.

Pronouncing a 'Y' can be even more confusing. Sometimes it's pronounced like a 'Y' and sometimes it sounds like a 'J'. Our lawyer's name is Yalta, pronounced 'Jalta'. Our notary is Yorleni, pronounced 'Yorleni'. We asked Yalta why Yorleni isn't 'Jorleni' and she shrugged.

Back to La Drama Policia, Episodio Uno...

Two Sabados (Saturdays) ago, we were outside (as we almost always are) when the punk came racing up Chimurria Rd and spun out into a full 360 just past Heather's casa. He is lucky that where he went off the road wasn't a deep ditch, as most of the time that's what lines the roads for draining the rains.

He pulled back onto the road and turned into Heather's driveway to turn around. Heather walked towards the carro and yelled for him to slow down and take it easy. The punk and his cronies yelled back at her - we only understood one of the words and we've been told it's a bad one. He made some more trips up and down the road during the day - enough so we got photos of him, his carro, and his license plate. Little did we know we'd need them! Heather sent the license plate number to Yalta who was able to look it up in the registro (pronounced 'rehistro') and provide Heather with the punk's name and cedula (id number).

El Hombre Malo

That night, about 7, we heard cars revving and punks yelling as two carros went by. Heather heard a thunk that turned out to be a rock hitting the security panel over one of the front windows. It actually chipped the window but did not break it. Heather checked the footage on her security camera. Yep, she has a security camera aimed outside her door and at the road. Got 'em! A carro blanco (white car) and a carro negro (black car)! And you can hear the punks AND the thunk! She downloaded the video so she wouldn't lose it, and called 911. 911 in San Jose, once they found someone who habla'd Ingles, said they would forward the information to the Policia in Tilaran.

Look closely - there's a guy sitting outside the window who must have thrown the rock
Same night, about 9:30, after we had all turned in (and I was asleep), there was a huge bang! I mean HUGE! It woke me up thinking a bomb had gone off in front of the house. Then we heard punks yelling and gravel flying. Yep, it was the 2 carros again. This time the rock they threw went through one of the front windows. There was glass all over the ground and inside the house (behind the couch, under the window).

The shattered window and the rock
Heather took photos and then checked the footage on her security camera. In the morning, (Domingo - Sunday) Heather contacted Yalta and Yalta called the Tilaran Policia. Heather is very good with Google Translate and had prepared her 'talking points' in español, plus she had all her photos and video ready to show them. Two young officers came over and took all the information to record it in the system. They advised her to go to the OIJ ('oh-ee-hota') in Cañas (CAN-yass) on Lunes (Monday) to file a report.

Yalta went with Heather to the OIJ on Monday to do the talking, since it was doubtful there would be anyone there speaking English. They made the report with all the evidence Heather had collected, and we know they are investigating because, during the week, they were around asking other people questions. We haven't seen the punk or his carro since, and I doubt we will.

Oh! The ventanas (windows)! Yes, pronounced 'bentanas'. On Sunday Heather called the local guy, Michael, who is making our windows at Twicasa. He came over with his tio (uncle). Sue and I chatted with Michael's tio on the patio while Heather and Michael cleaned up the glass. Michael took out the window frames and took them to his workshop. That evening he came back and installed 2 new ventanas. Que servicio!!!

73 mil colones for 2 windows (about $130)

BREAKING NEWS!  TWO-TOED SLOTH PASSES BY ON CHIMURRIA ROAD! 
We were eating dinner last night and Heather got up to get more vinegar. She just happened to look out the window at the right moment to see a sloth zipping by on the telephone cable! Here's a video to show you how fast a sloth zips.



La Drama de Policia - Episodio Dos

At least a couple of times a week, maybe more, a car will drive by with giant speakers making an announcement in español. Sometimes it's a fruit vendor announcing his wares. Other times it's an announcement about COVID-19, telling everyone to continue staying at home. I have to listen very carefully to determine whether it's about fruit or COVID as it approaches up Chimurria Rd.

The Tilaran Municipalidad making an announcement about the COVID-19 emergency
We can actually hear them coming all the way from San Luis and so do the dogs across the street. For some reason, they howl (not bark) as they hear them approaching, and continue howling as they turn onto our road, come up the street, and go past.

Lunes pasada (last Monday), we saw (and heard) a carro policio go by making the COVID-19 announcement. I didn't think any more about it until later in the day when I saw a carro policio stop in front of Twicasa. Instead of walking over to find out what was going on, I decided it would be better to let Henry and Sergio handle the situation in español, knowing they would come and report to us. 

After the policia left, Henry indeed came over to Heather's casa to fill us in. Apparently someone had reported that there was a house being constructed on Chimurria Rd without a permit. The 'someone' had filed a denuncia with the policia. Henry had a pink sheet of papel (paper) with all the information and told us we needed to go to the Tilaran Municipalidad office and speak with Rosemary, and probably pay a fine. Henry also assured us that he showed the policia evidence of the old structure and that this was a remodel, not new construction. 

This is when I texted 'Yalta, we have a problem!'. Yalta's response was 'who is this?' LOL. She usually messages Heather and evidently didn't have my number in her phone. Anyway, Yalta said we need to be sure to stress that we are repairing the house (we are!) and draw up a plan, putting a cost on each repair. She made plans for us to pick her up in the morning at 9am to go with us to see Rosemary. 

I worked on the plan and emailed it to her in the morning just before we left to head to her office. When we got to her office, she said that I had been too thorough - I had included more details (and therefore more costs) than was necessary. She strongly advised that we go back home and re-do the list, and emphasize 'repair'. We did so and went back to Tilaran to pick her up. 

At the Municipalidad, Yalta and I went in and found Rosemary behind glass. A mucho rapido conversation in español took place, and then we left. Rosemary said to take the plan to a different office to have the work entered into the system. More mucho rapido conversation in español, a small fee (about 5 mil or $8), and the work was in the system. Next step is that Rosemary will assess it and call Yalta with the amount we must pay for the permit. 

We have a theory that the denuncia was actually filed against the new house being built down in the valley between Heather's casa and ours. That house is down so low that the top of the roof is about road level. It's possible that the policia drove by, missing that, and focused in on Twicasa because it is glowing white with it's brand new red roof. Yalta agrees, but says we are still 'busted' and must address it. We agree tambien (also). 

I guess this episodio will have to be continued, because Yalta hasn't heard from Rosemary yet, but in the meantime, we are allowed to continue with the repairs! 

Pura vida!